Breaking the Burnout Cycle
In pop culture we use the word “burnout” to describe a whole spectrum of work fatigue, from having “a case of the Mondays” to being incapacitated. So let’s start by aligning on a definition. The Mayo Clinic defines burnout as “a special type of work-related stress — a state of physical or emotional exhaustion that also involves a sense of reduced accomplishment and loss of personal identity.”
Identifying the Main Symptom of Burnout
This definition tells us that a symptom of burnout is shame. This is the feeling that “there is something unacceptable about me and if my community finds out, I’ll be rejected.” In a workplace setting, the mental narratives that come with shame are, “I’m not keeping up. I’m failing. I’m behind. My colleagues could (or are) doing better.” One of the biggest contributors to burnout is having an unsupportive workplace, where co-workers or managers echo these sentiments.
The urges that come with shame are to hide whatever we’re feeling shameful about in order to have good standing in our community. So naturally, many people in early stages of burnout go into problem solving mode. How do I keep up with the work demand so I’m not seen as inadequate? Perhaps you find ways to improve your efficiency so you can fit in more tasks, stay a bit late at the office, or put in some weekend hours.
There’s nothing inherently wrong with any of these strategies, but in some cases they can be the beginning of a vicious cycle. We crank out more work to avoid feeling like (or being seen as) a failure. But the extra work burns us out more, leading to more shame. As work begins to take up more space in our minds and our schedules, the loss of identity can set in. Our life can start to be centered around work, making success feel even more paramount.
The First Step to Breaking the Burnout Cycle
So how do we break the cycle? The first step is to recognize if you’re in it. The next step is to work on some self-compassion. Not only is it an antidote to the “not good enough feeling” of shame, but taking a compassionate stance towards your pain is necessary to honestly answer the question: What do I need? That insight will never arrive if you’re too busy fixating on your failures.
The difference between a self-critical vs. self-compassionate stance is much like the difference between a bad vs. good boss. The bad boss blames, berates, and demands more, more, more. This behavior just crushes morale and de-motivates everyone. The good boss is genuinely curious about how you’re doing, what you’re needing, and is responsive to those needs. They’re the ones who get the best work and retention from their employees.
Even though self-compassion is a researched-backed intervention, our mind’s are quick to dismiss it. Especially in the middle of a shame spiral. Because of that, I suggest starting with this video to address any concerns. If you’re ready to give it a try, I highly suggest these exercises.
Whether you decide you need some time off, to set limits around work, to increase self-care, to act opposite to your urges to hide and openly assert “my plate is too full,” or even find another job that will better support you in having boundaries - taking that step will also be easier when you’re in a self-compassionate stance.
